Do you see yourself as being an independent person? As someone who has it all together? I had always seen myself as this strong independent woman who did not need help from anyone to get what I wanted in life. I had my studies, my possessions and I thought I had it all. But then I realised that was not really what independence was all about. It is not just about what i have. It was also about how i felt about yourself and those around me. So I started researching ways to gain independence.
When I read on how experts see independence,I was surprised by the understanding of people on what it meant to be independent. So many people focused on the practical aspect – the ability to change your car tyre or lightbulb, choosing to go out with your friends on a weekend, owning your own car. They rarely included the emotional and mental aspects too.
So here are my insights on effective ways to gain independence, to feel fantastic about yourself and to start taking control of your life.
Remember, these are not things that are going to happen overnight. You can not just wake up one morning and be fully independent by doing everything on this list. But you can take small steps towards more independence each and every day.
1- Reflect on yourself more
Spending time reflecting upon yourself gives you the foundation for other important steps to becoming independent, such as understanding your own wants and needs, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and learning to be assertive. This step gives you the confidence to be independent.
2- Have some alone time
These days I can not get enough alone time!! I love it. And because I have learned to love it, I have learned how to use this time to rejuvenate myself.
This is something that a lot of introverts already know – time alone can help you recharge your batteries. But this step is not exclusively for introverts. Extroverts can gain a lot of benefits from alone time too.
When it comes to taking steps towards independence, being comfortable and learning to enjoy alone time is essential. It allows you to acknowledge that you are enough. That you, on your own, are enough.
This does not mean you can not enjoy your time with others – most extroverts still thrive on group interaction and get their energy from being around others. It simply means that you need to learn to be okay with being on your own sometimes too. Even if that alone time is just sitting in a cafe, reading your favourite novel and watching the world go by.
3- Understand and master your finances
Whether you love it or hate it, money is what makes the world go round. You need it, I need it, some have it, some do not and we all try our best to earn more of it.
It is imperative for you to know where your money is coming from, where it is going and what it is doing for you in order for you to be independent.
4- Change your vocabulary
What about when someone gives you a compliment? Do you say thank you or do you deflect and respond with a negative comment about yourself? Like you are trying to prove them wrong.
Independence and confidence go hand in hand. One simple step to boost your confidence is to change the way you talk about yourself. Change this simple words – remove them from your vocabulary. Talk only in positives when referring to yourself.
Yes, you can have a bad day still and be cranky at the world – but that is one day. Not your whole life.
Do it now – say one positive thing about yourself. Go on… louder… How does that feel? Awkward? Say it again. And again. Until it does not feel awkward. Until you laugh at yourself for talking out loud and hope no one can hear you in case they think you are a little crazy (who cares anyway…). Now start doing this all the time. Every day. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.
5 – Understand Your Own Wants, Needs and Desires
What is it that you truly want? What makes you happy? What do you need to get by each day?
Your desires are your happy place. It is what you fill your vision board with. It is your dream, it is what makes you tingle with excitement and makes your heart skip a beat. These are the most fun part of this step. Have you ever just let your mind wander off and think of your desires? Do it, you will feel so much better and purposeful.
This is some of the insights for today, there will be more for you. Feel free to express yourself and share on how you understand independence.
I wish you to have a happy, independent and amazing existence.